Self-confidence is crucial to the healthy psychological development of children, and it is a must for parents to build self-confidence for their children.
Parents are always busy in their daily lives and it is inevitable that they will get angry with their children or inadvertently scold and compare them.
However, in a child’s world, being compared to other children, especially one’s own siblings, is a serious matter and may hurt a child’s self-confidence and make him or her feel inferior to others.
What exactly can you do to help build self-confidence? The experts below share 10 tips.
Tell your kids every day that you really love them
According to Katherine Lee, an American child development expert, when children feel your love for them, it gives them a sense of belonging and security, and affects their ability to form intimate relationships with others in the future.
“Hug your kids more, hug them at work and say goodbye, cuddle up and read to them at bedtime, and don’t be shy about saying I love you every day.” When your children grow up in a loving environment, they will have the ability to build healthy relationships with friends and loved ones in the future,” Lee said.
Play more with them
You read that right, it’s that simple!
Lee points out that when you spend time playing with your child, they feel like their parents enjoy spending time with them and that they can make them happy, which alone has many benefits for both parents and children. Not only will the child feel happy in the process and learn to be a fun person, research has also shown that it can effectively reduce the chance of depression and anxiety in children.
Praise your child wisely
It’s important to praise your child, but there’s a lot to be learned about how to do it. Some inappropriate praise can have a negative impact on your child.
Pennsylvania child psychologist D’Arcy Lyness, PhD, advocates against excessive praise.
If compliments are given like water, they will eventually become insincere and untrue, and children will sense that their parents don’t really mean it and misunderstand that they don’t take them seriously. For example, if your child is having a bad game and still insists on saying you were great! You can say instead, “I know you’re disappointed that you didn’t play well today, but it’s okay, everyone has bad days and I’m proud of you for not giving up in the end. Next time you’ll do even better.”
Dr. Linneth also encourages parents to praise their children for their efforts in the “process” rather than just the outcome. For example, telling your child, “You’re really taking your test preparation seriously, that’s awesome! Or, “I’m so touched to see you practicing so hard. “She says that when children hear such praise, they are more willing to engage in the process and try harder.
Let your children be responsible and do the right chores
As many of you grew up, you probably heard your parents say, “I’ll do the chores, you go read!” In fact, giving children age-appropriate chores can build a sense of purpose and accomplishment for them. Lee said that children learning to do housework is also learning to be responsible, even if they do not do well at first, but also to give them confidence, telling them, more work and practice, will get better and better.
Don’t verbally humiliate your child
Dr. Funke Adegoke, a child development specialist, reminds parents to avoid verbally humiliating their children when they do something wrong or upset their parents. Even if you’re angry, don’t yell, scream, get hysterical, or yell at them in a nasty way. You can be angry, but a lot of the damage caused by angry words can’t be undone. Parents should also practice calming down and then use a rational approach to explain to your child the causes and consequences of your anger and why they are doing something wrong.
Encourage children to be independent
Lee believes that elementary school is a critical time for building independence because by middle school most children are already home alone, going to and from school on their own, and even taking care of their younger siblings. Parents cannot always take care of everything for their children.
You need to let them practice preparing their own school bags, asking their own questions of teachers, and talking to their parents or teachers if they are troubled. Don’t be a helicopter parent; it not only makes your child too dependent, but it also hurts their self-confidence. Such a process cannot be achieved in one day, so start early and give your child time to practice and prepare.
Let your child be creative and show off their work
Hanging your child’s artwork around the house is also a great way to build self-confidence.
When your child finishes a painting, writes an essay or does a project, invite them to share their reasons for creating it by asking them what they wanted to say. Why did they use this color? This process allows children to feel that their work is worthy of recognition and allows them to practice communicating their ideas and opinions.
Teaching children how to deal with setbacks
People make mistakes and encounter setbacks throughout their lives, so it is essential that children are taught how to react to setbacks at an early age. If children tend to overreact, lose their temper or behave inappropriately, they should be taught slowly that crisis is opportunity and that they can learn from setbacks. Lee pointed out that practicing facing setbacks will let children know that as long as they are healthy, setbacks are not the end of the world, and will also increase their self-confidence.
Pay attention to the use of 3C products by children
In today’s society, both adults and children are inseparable from cell phones, tablets and computers. Lee pointed out that 3C products allow children to keep in touch with their families is a good thing, but also to be careful of too much 3C usage, but will build a wall in family communication and family relations, reducing the interaction between children and parents; and spend too much time on it will also leave the family no time to do family activities together, such as biking, hiking, walking, etc..
Discussing the frequency and time of using 3C products with your child will allow them to express their opinions and learn to discuss and compromise.
Teaching by words is better than teaching by example
Dr. Linneth says there is no better way to build a child’s confidence than to “show them what you can do”! When you take things seriously every day, you are physically showing your child that mom and dad take life seriously too, not just telling you to work hard. If you do things positively, instead of complaining and lamenting, your children will be influenced by you to deal with things in their lives positively.
When you’re brave enough to face a problem and tell your child that you don’t know if you can do it, but you’re still going to try! You are also teaching your children by example, encouraging them to take on challenges and building their courage and confidence.
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