Since the outbreak of COVID-19, many people have been affected by the outbreak and have felt unsettled in their work lives. Most businesses have had to temporarily suspend their operations in response to the government’s alert, and companies have had to adopt work diversions in order to avoid clusters of infections. At the peak of the commute, there were only a few cars left on the streets, and even the crowded public transportation vehicles were empty.
Anxious state of mind
The rising number of confirmed cases has left people in an atmosphere of caution and fear, with people grabbing supplies and goods through physical and online supermarkets because it is difficult to predict when the epidemic will subside, or even when the invisible enemy will invade.
In addition, school closures and work shunts require people to be in the same crowded space 24 hours a day with their partners, children, parents, in-laws or family members, making it difficult to adjust to irritability through solitude. The division of household chores, child discipline and companionship, space usage and epidemic prevention perspectives all seem to be sources of quarrels and conflicts. In the fear of the unknown and uncontrollable, our mind and body seem to be detached from the original window of accommodation.
The term Window of Tolerance was coined by American psychiatrist Dan Siegel, who believes that everyone has a “Window of Tolerance” that allows us to adjust our emotions and state of being when we are inside it. When a threat arises, our nervous system responds with a “fight or flight” or “shut down or freeze” response due to survival mechanisms. However, all of this comes from the subconscious operation of the nerves, not from the brain’s thinking or judgment.
Rationally, it is not that serious, but the subconscious is always feeling its presence, so that wherever there are people, it can become a place for the virus to spread, and any movement will immediately put your nerves in a state of preparedness, but all this our brain is not aware of anything, and such emotions are involuntarily transferred to our family relationships.
What can we do to stabilize ourselves in the face of this “viral war” that will end soon, and to meet the challenges?
Master what you can do and let go of what you can’t control
Anxiety is mainly caused by the unknown and the lack of control. Moderate anxiety can help us to be more alert and avoid danger, but excessive anxiety can affect our immunity and physical and mental health. So what we can do now is to take control of what we can do to regain our sense of control, and temporarily let go of the messages that can lead us to greater fear and anxiety.
Rediscovering new rules in the midst of change.
The epidemic has disrupted the pace of many people’s daily lives, forcing them to be confined to a limited space. Since their lives cannot be restored for the time being, they may as well re-establish the rules of their own lives in their current state, for example, if they cannot go out to exercise, they may switch to online exercise; if they cannot gather for a meal or a chat, they may have an online cooking sharing or an online meal together.
Embracing “both, not one”
Esther Perel, a marriage and family therapist, has said that in times of epidemic stress, what we need to do is create a space to accommodate our differences. Since each of us is an individual, it is natural and normal to be different and different, and when stress strikes, it is easy for people to become more extreme and for differences to become more pronounced. Therefore, the more we learn to accept differences rather than judge right and wrong in such situations, the more we can avoid unnecessary conflicts and quarrels. For example, in the face of an epidemic, everyone has different perspectives and attitudes toward epidemic prevention, but as long as everyone is on the same page about the spread of the epidemic, we can appreciate and accept each other.
Finally, learn to accept all your emotions
Emotional feelings are subjective feelings that are not right or wrong, good or bad, and do not feel guilty or ashamed because of their presence or existence. Accept and tolerate your feelings in a timely manner, and be aware of the real needs behind them, and find a trusted friend or professional to talk with you when needed. This will help you to get through this epidemic together.
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