Graduated from a prestigious university, worked less than two months, burned charcoal suicide…
College student, cheated out of $5,000 in tuition, can not afford…
You should see news like the above all the time, right? These two college students, I believe they should be very good! Especially the one who was defrauded of $5,000 in tuition fees and felt sorry for his parents. But, he chose to end up like this because he couldn’t bear it for a while after encountering a setback. But He doesn’t know that life is more than $5000 and that choosing such an ending is the biggest disservice to his parents.
Every time I see such news, I feel very sorry for them. Kids today are really too fragile! Who’s fault is this? I think parents are responsible for a large part.
Health is divided into physical health and mental health. However, parents are very concerned about their children’s physical health, but often ignore the mental health. After all, it can’t be seen or touched. But the truth is, the importance of mental health is much higher than mental health!
I have read a survey that shows that nearly 45% of children show a tendency to be vulnerable. Although the true reliability of this data is not known, it illustrates a problem: many children have a weak mental capacity.
It is inevitable that children will experience setbacks as they grow up. This is a normal phenomenon, and it is a sign of mental health to be able to endure and eliminate setbacks and maintain a complete personality and psychological balance.
Nowadays, children are surrounded by the careful care of their parents from birth, often allowing them to grow up with encouragement and praise, but the problem of their resilience to setbacks is becoming more and more prominent. Those children who commit suicide because they are criticized by their teachers, those who jump off a building when their homework is not completed are the most vivid and bloody lessons, and those children who can’t afford to play in life, and play the rascal when they lose, these are all warnings of the inadequacy of our frustration education for children.
Cultivating children’s resilience to setbacks and improving their mental toughness is something that needs to be done from a young age so that they can gradually understand the meaning of success and the value of failure and learn to face it.
After all, setbacks are a necessary part of every person’s life. For parents, instead of shielding their children from the elements, they should teach their children to face the various storms of life on their own. Of course, frustration education is not simply to let children suffer, frustration education is to start at a young age, so that children in life experience to learn to face difficulties and failures, to overcome setbacks, to enhance the ability to resist stress. Frustration education can not be achieved overnight, it can be said that from the time a child is born, we can start to train gradually and consciously, as the child grows up, progressively different stress training, this is the way to really cultivate the child’s counter-intelligence.
In the home education, how to develop children’s resilience? I would like to discuss a few points here.
1. Parents themselves should establish the awareness of anti-frustration education famous psychologist Maslow once said: “Frustration may not always be bad, the key lies in the attitude towards frustration. Parents are anxious to pay attention to anti-defeat education and to cultivate their children’s optimistic and cheerful personality, which are the prerequisites for their children to improve their mental ability. The attitude we show in life when facing difficulties and failures will directly affect our children, so setting a good example for our children with our own words and actions is a key point for every parent in frustration education.
2. Grasp the opportunity of frustration education, teaching children to properly deal with failure In fact, when the child is still a baby, frustration has already appeared around him, but at this time parents often help children to solve difficulties, which allows children to frustration education foundation is missed. Where is the opportunity for frustration education? It is very simple, is the child to learn to sit, crawl, stand, walk and a series of developmental process of failure experienced. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing. When the child is older, you can let him try to learn to do things on his own. The training of self-care ability is actually not only for children to learn to be independent, the training of resistance to frustration is also effective. Of course, as the child grows older, there will be more and more opportunities to train him, for parents, just remember the nine words: no substitution, less interference, more encouragement, and in the life of the child really do. In addition, usually mom and dad in the child encounter difficulties, to teach children not to avoid, encourage children to face the reality. Sometimes, the phrase “you can do it” will help build your child’s confidence and inspire him to work hard to overcome difficulties. When children overcome difficulties time and time again, they gain courage and the desire to overcome them. In this way, the parents’ “you can do it” becomes their own “I can do it”!
3. Reasonable expectations for children, so that children learn to properly self-evaluate Each child has its own strengths and weaknesses. Objective evaluation and the raising of reasonable expectations in this way will enable children to gradually and correctly understand their own abilities and establish appropriate directional goals, etc. If parents always pick on their children, belittle them, or raise unrealistic expectations that are too high, they will hurt their children’s self-esteem, make them lack self-confidence, and avoid difficulties in order to avoid setbacks.
4. Let your child go, give your child the right to make mistakes parents do not have to be very concerned about their children’s mistakes. In fact, it is inevitable that children will make mistakes. There are some growing up mistakes, such as wearing the wrong clothes, wearing the wrong shoes, learning to eat by themselves when they are young, making the table full of food, but not much of it reaches their mouths, etc., are all inevitable in the growing up process of children. If parents take care of the child, or anxious, angry, without asking the reason to reprimand the child, physical punishment, these will make the child lose the opportunity to grow, so that the child lack of confidence, dependence.
5. Each child’s psychology is different, and the same frustration has different effects on different children. Therefore, parents should conduct frustration education according to their children’s personality characteristics. For example, children with strong self-esteem, love to save face, easily frustrated when they encounter setbacks, parents should not complain too much, criticism, it is best to end, more encouragement; for children with low self-esteem, parents must not blame too much, but more comfort, good at finding their strengths, create opportunities for success, and enhance their self-confidence. All in all, the growth of children is not a single thing, and so is the cultivation of resilience. If parents can gradually and consciously cultivate it from a young age, I believe our children will be able to grow up in a comprehensive and healthy way.
Recommended reading:
Depression is not exclusive to adults, how can children prevent the occurrence of depression?
