Are you a confident person? If so, what makes you say that? If not, are you trying to “find” confidence?
“Confidence” is a state that we strive to pursue in life. Unlike conceit and feeling good about oneself, self-confidence gives people a feeling that is less sharp and less angular, and is a relatively gentle temperament that allows people to feel positive energy.
So when we say: “You are a very confident person”, it is indeed an expression of positive affirmation.
But in retrospect, what does “confident” really mean? It seems that it can neither be quantified like “having money” or “having education”, nor can it be qualitatively recognized like “having manners” or “having leadership qualities”. It seems to be neither quantitatively assessed like “having money” and “having education” nor qualitatively recognized like “having manners” and “having leadership qualities.
We can only feel subjectively – whether the other person is sure of what he or she has done, is doing or is about to start, and exudes an air of “I know what I can do”.
The stronger the family background, the higher the social class, the easier it is to have more social capital than the average person, so that their chances of success are greater and failure is more tolerable, these people are usually more confident.
But the source of this confidence is too much taken for granted, so that I may not have gone through too many setbacks, and the general people’s uncertainty and struggle is not understood, this “sense of superiority” is in fact the abuse of self-confidence.
On the contrary, obviously have more resources and opportunities than ordinary people, but still can not take self-confidence, not moving on the self-conceit, is a “weak” performance.
We don’t like people who exude a sense of superiority, and we are disappointed by people who pretend to be weak.
We want self-confidence to be more human and more in our hands. If we could, we would also like it to bring strength to others, but how?
Strictly speaking, self-confidence is a very unstable state, sometimes it comes and goes, and it can be more or less.
Sometimes we think we’ve “found” confidence after reading a good book, listening to an inspiring speech, or having a conversation that touches our hearts.
The key is, what have you done to change? If you don’t try anything new, if you don’t learn anything new, and if you don’t gain any new insights, then what is the difference between you and the person you were yesterday?
We may also have a misconception about self-confidence, that a person has self-confidence because they think they can do anything, so when they encounter something they may not be able to do, they say, “No, I don’t have the self-confidence to do it right.”
But gosh, there are so many things in the world that we can’t handle, right? If we duck and cover, we get stuck in a comfort zone and become a person who tends to lose confidence.
A truly confident person is one who knows “what he can do”.
There is only one way to know what you can do, and that is to try countless times. Only by doing it yourself will you know if you can do it or not.
If you actually try and find out you can do it, you get an extra point for confidence; if you try and find out you can’t do it, but you understand what you’re not good at or don’t like, and even find out what you can do better, do you get a point for confidence? Of course not! Knowing where you want to go and how you can get better is the biggest multiplier for confidence.
So, every attempt, whether successful or unsuccessful, will give us nutrients. It sounds like a cliché, but the hardest part is how to face the accumulated setbacks and failures over time without losing confidence.
In addition to constant reflection and correction, there is of course one more thing to insist on: never stop trying.
Just as many small blessings add up to happiness, many small achievements will strengthen your self-confidence and push you forward in a solid way.
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