Mental health: What should be done to change the multiple personalities of children?

Netizen question: My little baby is 3 years old, quite lively at home, especially like to interact with adults, as for getting along with children of the same age, only prefer to play with relatives children, in kindergarten will behave introverted, a little withdrawn, please advise if this situation can be changed?

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Best Answer:

Early education and the development of young children’s character

The essence of technology and economic competition in the 21st century is the competition for talents, and the competition for talents is ultimately the competition for education. The strength of education is also based on early childhood education. The mission of early childhood education is to cultivate well-rounded talents with the will, confidence, quality and ability to face the challenges of the new century. They need to have both intelligence and healthy psychological quality, good character quality, so that they can withstand greater psychological pressure than any society in the past and resist the conflicts brought by the rapidly changing society. This requires that we should pay attention to the cultivation of good character in early education.

Personality is a person’s stable attitude towards reality and the habitual way of behavior that fits with it, and is the centralized manifestation of a person’s difference from other people. From the theory of early childhood psychology and education, 0-6 years old is the most rapid development of brain in a person’s life, is the most plastic stage in life, is also the most solid foundation of human intelligence and character stage. Personality can clearly show a person’s attitude toward reality and the way of behavior that fits with it, such as social responsibility, honesty, integrity, etc. Once formed, personality has a relative stability. The initial formation of personality is the beginning of the infant, 3-year-old children in the character has a significant difference. The origin of children’s character formation is the habits of infants and young children. Each parent to their own unique way of parenting, so that the infant to produce a fixed reaction, that is, the formation of habits, each individual habits together as a quality of existence, it constitutes the individual character characteristics, the infant is in the family, by the habits and fixed behavior of the initial habits, which constitute the most basic components of its character combination. We can see that early education plays an important role in constraining and guiding the formation of children’s character.

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The best period for character building is in the early years. Since the child is not aware of his or her own attitude towards the point of view, his or her behavior is not developed, let alone stereotyped. Only in the later environment, under the influence of adults, family, school and society, through the child’s own practical activities and initiative, and on the basis of his or her innate qualities, his or her unique character is gradually formed. Genetic factors provide the natural basis and developmental possibilities for psychological development, but the social environment has a determining role in character.

1. Create a good family life environment for children

The family is the cell and miniature of the society, and the requirements, consciousness and moral norms of the society will exert education and influence on children through the family, and the family space is the center of children’s early life; this period is the period of rapid formation of children’s character, and the family becomes the basis of children’s character formation, and parents are the first teachers of children’s life. Since the character of children is a reflection of the educational influence of their living environment, a harmonious family provides objective conditions for the healthy development of children’s character.

A good family atmosphere, harmony among family members, democratic equality, mutual concern and love, harmonious exchange of ideas among family members, discussion of work and study, positive and healthy content such as social news, movies and novels, joint discussion of family matters, joint work of family members, mutual understanding and care, and mutual respect among members will all play a role in the formation of good character of infants.

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Children need love from their parents during childhood, and whether or not their love needs are met has an important impact on their psychological development. Parents should be close to their children and love them in order to get their children’s love, so that they can develop feelings of love for others. The parents should not be angry with their children because they are not happy with their life, marriage or career, which will lead to bad character of the children. Parents should appropriately meet the reasonable requirements of children, emotions are determined by the degree of satisfaction of needs, such as physical needs, security needs, when the needs are met, people will be happy, happy, joyful; conversely will be bored, sad, sad, etc.. In order to cultivate an enthusiastic, lively and cheerful character, we should understand and study the inner world of our children from the time they are small, adjust our attitude towards them according to their needs at different times, and establish a trusting, equal and democratic relationship with them, which is the driving force for the formation of their positive character. A good environment that respects and cares for children is most likely to develop good character and create the best conditions for educating children.

These love factors are the expression of human emotions. Emotions are an important component of personality structure. Emotions play an important role in regulating human and social relationships and interpersonal relationships, and it is through the exchange of emotions that people become infected with each other, understand and attach to each other. The bond between children and adults is established from the beginning through emotional interactions. Children experience the same emotional state over and over again in certain, repeated situations, and this state becomes a stable personality trait after it is fixed. The love and attention of parents and relatives can make children feel secure, trusting and have a series of positive emotions. On the contrary, children who lack the love and care of their relatives will have negative emotional experiences, causing adverse physical and psychological development and causing serious damage to their emotional life, forming the character traits of isolation, silence, indifference, mistrust and misfits. The nature of human being is social, and people can only live normally in the intertwined connections with others. Establishing good emotional relationships with others is the need of human spiritual life and the guarantee of all-round development of human beings. Therefore, we should educate our children from an early age to be passionate about things, optimistic and stable, and able to withstand the test of victory and failure. Edison’s success was due to his enthusiasm for his career and his lively and cheerful personality. Einstein said, “A good character and a steel will are more important than intelligence and fraternity…Intellectual achievement depends to a great extent on greatness of character.”

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2. The role of parents’ example plays an important factor in the formation of children’s character

Psychological research proves that the mental activities of children in childhood are relatively simple, their thinking is characterized by concrete images, and their knowledge of things is mainly based on feeling external stimuli and reactions, and their feelings are more than reason. The younger the child is, the more prominent the imitation is. The first, most frequent, and most direct object for children to imitate is their parents. To develop good character in children, parents should start with themselves.

Parents must first love life and work. Parents’ sense of responsibility and motivation to work naturally flow through their own behavior, so that children can appreciate the meaning of life. The parents’ words, manners, behavior and performance in all aspects of their children’s lives will serve as an example to their children, who will gradually develop fixed psychological processes and tendencies through imitation. The educator Macarenko said, “How parents talk to others, how they talk about others, how happy and sad you are, all of this has great significance for children.” Parents’ education to children, in addition to teaching by example, also need to teach by word, need to be reflected in the family’s life practices and behavior habits, parents can tell their children stories of people who have contributed, children love to listen to stories, but also the most vulnerable to accept the infection of the glorious image. Over time, it will leave a deep imprint on the child’s character being formed, parents should also be a good example of the child’s behavior habits. Usually parents respect and filial piety to the elderly, go out in the car, help the old and bring the young, some civilized behavior, ordinary family chores, parents set an example and strict requirements, to develop good habits, the child’s character is shaped by these household chores and little by little. Childhood is a period of rapid physical and mental development, but also a critical period of character formation, plasticity, they are everywhere to parental behavior as an example and model, which laid a solid foundation for the formation of good character.

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3. Cultivation of good character for single children

At present, more than 90% of the children aged 1-6 are only children. The education of only children has been taken seriously by the whole society, and the cultivation of character is the most important issue in the education of only children.

The parents of these only children are willing to invest in intelligence, so the children have a high IQ, extensive knowledge, information, energy, strong activity, boldness, daring to think, dare to say, dare to do, however, because they are pampered, developed a self-centered thinking and emotions, selfish, capricious, only me, will not care about people, sympathy for people. For example, in a kindergarten, a child woke up from a nap and had to turn on the recorder to dance without considering that others were sleeping; a child punched and kicked his father for eating his banana and had to ask him to spit it out; some children saw others fall down, but they shouted that they deserved it, without any sympathy, which shows that the character of only children must be cultivated urgently to overcome their weaknesses in order to cultivate qualified talents who can adapt to the times. To achieve early character education, parents must be careful to overcome their weaknesses.

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To achieve early character education, parents must be good at loving their children sensibly. First of all, children should know how to limit their own wishes from a young age. From the age of two or three, children have their own wishes and use “I want” …… but hardly know “I should”. The actual life of the child, starting with small things, so that children love books and toys, teach children to respect the work of others, help adults to do what they can. In this way to overcome the child self-centered, selfish, dependent and other bad character qualities. Secondly, children should know from an early age that in addition to happiness, there are also difficulties and sadness in life that require their own efforts to overcome, and help them to overcome difficulties and to be exposed to various practices in society so that they can distinguish right from wrong. To cultivate children’s independence from an early age to enhance their ability to adapt to society in all aspects, to strengthen children’s frustration education and equal competition awareness from an early age to enhance children’s mental strength and balance, and to cultivate children’s strong will and character to not give up in the face of difficulties and failures from an early age is an important quality required by the times.

Other answers:

The child’s adaptability and confidence in the environment determines her fear and her way of dealing with people.

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